Greetings fellow communicators! Are you ready to level-up to chapter 2 in
The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher? Have you ever had a moment when you played out a conversation in your head and it went totally awry? Jefferson has a powerful reminder for us: “Have something to LEARN not something to prove.”
The next conversation can be much more transformative than the initial one. It levels us up. Reframing, restating, clarifying, and apologizing trumps the prized first impression.
When we identify our values (who we want to be and how we want to show up) they help align us and make the tough decisions for us. Remember in the Bible when Isaac asked Jacob who he was he replied, “I am Esau” which was a false identity. When God asked Jacob that same question much later in his life, he said, “I am Jacob” which was his real identity, but not his true identity. God gives Jacob that when he changed his name to Israel:
Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.”
Words are powerful! We want our actions to speak louder than our words so we must embrace the uncomfortableness of growth.
Jefferson shares a few of his values:
- Where there is room for kindness, I will use it.
- Tell them who I am without saying my name.
- If I can’t be a bridge, I’ll be a lighthouse.
Know the difference between fantasy and reality in the goals we set for our next conversation.
Realistic goals vs unrealistic goals:
Leaving a conversation feeling heard vs Believing one conversation will cure all underlying problems
Gaining a better understanding or where the other person is coming from vs Expecting them to accept your opinion without question
Values in conversations serve as our compass, helping us to set realistic goals as we strive to navigate toward what is meaningful and important.
Let’s learn the power of… The Next Conversation as we Connect to Reflect!
Blessings!